Now that I am coaching more regularly (I passed the 70-hour mark this week!) I am beginning to notice an interesting pattern in first sessions with new clients. Nine times out of ten, this session becomes an hour long offload by the client – at the end of which they usually apologise for having talked so much.
What I always reassure them is, there is absolutely no need to apologise. Indeed the primary role of a coach is to hold space – to listen deeply, without judgement and allow the client to talk. It is through talking that we can begin to think, feel and begin to work through whatever is going on at that time.
I see the first session offload is a vital starting point. It enables the client to get everything out of their head, and onto the table, from where they will then be able to take their time in future sessions sorting through it, clearing out what no longer serves them, and using what is helpful to find their path forward.
I believe, for most people, these thoughts are not being created in the momentum they have been going round in their own heads for a long time. Either that, or they have been pushed deep down inside, locked in a box, never dared to open.
The power of a coach, is providing a safe space to open that box and a compassionate ear to untangle those thoughts. Being able to talk to someone who will listen without judgment, reflect back and gently guide you through the tangle of your thoughts is an incredible gift. That is the gift of coaching.
So whenever a new client offloads for the full hour, I feel proud that I have created that safe space for them, and confident that our future sessions together will be rich, meaningful and productive.
If you feel ready to get your thoughts out of your head and into a supportive space, I’m here to support you. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to start.